So I am giving you a warning disclaimer right now.... this is definitely a therapy post. I just can not get this off my mind tonight and I have some intense venting to get out so I can sleep. My intentions are not to offend anyone. I'm not trying to personally attack anyone with what I am about to say, but I need to say this in defense for myself, my friends, and other mothers who don't have the "LUXURY" of being a stay at home mother, or who "CHOOSE" to work for their own sanity and health. Some of you may already know why I am venting about this topic. If this makes you uncomfortable then please do not read on... but please still be my friend. :) Anyone is welcome to post a dispute if you choose too but I am confident that I may say what everyone else is feeling already but too afraid of saying anything. I do want to make sure I clarify and say that those mothers who do stay home are great people and good mothers too. Please note that these are my thoughts and feelings.
As most of you know I am very strong in my religious beliefs. Those of you who are not too familiar with LDS religion, there is some guidelines that mothers should stay home with their children. I agree with this guideline. But, this is not always the case that this is possible for every mother to do. For my family, and many others, that is ultimately the goal one day. There are many reasons that a mother may not stay home with their kids. And sometimes when the mother does stay home, she still feels the need to contribute to the finances and relieve some burdens off the husband. So, there is moms that work from home. I do not need to go into all of the reasons why a mother may not stay home. I personally, am working only part time. This situation is working for my family the best it can right now. And I enjoy what I do. Of course I miss my little girl when I am gone, but when I am home with her, I appreciate her and the time we spend together more. It was said that we are "COMMANDED" to stay home with our children. There is no where in the Ten Commandments that says, Thou shalt stay home with your children. I could go on and on and on. All I can say is that I am going to continue to be the best mom I can be right now. Fortunately, neither my husband or I were, or are, fed with a silver spoon. For that we are grateful. We are hard working parents that have learned to work for everything our family needs and wants. We both had to pay for our own education as do many. We strive everyday to teach our child how to become a person that can function in this world today and make a difference. We want to give her everything, but we will try to teach her how to work and struggle to get the things she desires. She will be a better person for this. Some who have never had the opportunity to know how it feels to struggle or to wonder how ends will meet the next week, most definitely do not have the right to make such ignorant statements. Right now I do not have the "LUXURY" of staying home everyday of the week. I could stay home, we would struggle even more, and we would still be fine, but for our family that is not going to work for us right now. My husband is such a hard worker and is doing his very best to take care of his girls. He is trying to set us up for a great future with no worries. But who isn't?
Isn't it also taught to live within your means? Yes we are taught to multiply and replenish the earth. It is also taught to make smart choices. It is not smart to have 8 children and counting if you will be living off the system and bishop's storehouse the rest of your life. Please make note that I understand that small or big families will sometimes need welfare assistance to get back on their feet, and I do not judge that. It's not free to raise a human. Everyones situation is different. I do my best to teach my daughter everything she needs to know, and I keep her healthy. I choose to spend my free time with her and my husband. To me, it is OK if the dust on the baseboard sits for another week, or if I let the jelly dry on the floor before I get to cleaning it. I would not want to miss precious moments with my baby and husband so that my house can be immaculate and my closet can be color coordinated consistently. Even though my clothes in my closet may have a few holes in it or may get out of their color coordination, it is OK. Because, I got to have precious time with my little one and teach her a new word today. To some you would see or feel as if that is not such a condition where the spirit can reside. Well, you are mistaken. You can come into my home and see my family and feel the love and joy that we have. You will see the legacy we are trying to build. I will do my best to keep our home a healthy home, but I know that if the jelly dries on the table for 1 more minute that it should, we will still be OK and alive, we will still be happy, and I will not have missed my baby saying to me a new word. I know the lord knows me personally and know every ones situation. He never asked me to Clorox Halia's toys every other day, or wipe the counters every hour. He has asked to love and guide my little girl. He chose me to be her mom. I am going to do just that and only that. I am not going to make such judgments of others who choose to stay home or who choose to work. Aren't all mothers just trying to do the same thing here? Aren't we all just trying to love and raise good kids? Lets keep that in mind and support each other and help those who may not have such luxuries to stay home at this moment in time. To those who do stay home...please be mindful of how you express your reasons for staying home. It can sound very hurtful and judgmental if you are not taking care in the words and tone you choose to use. Remember, a mother is a mother whether they get to change every single diaper in a day or not, we still love our kids just the same. :)
Thank goodness for blogger therapy!
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
I posted her party pictures. But, since I'm a slacker, I started the post over 2 months ago, and just finished it. For some reason blogger won't let me rearrange the order of the posts. So it is below the last 2 posts if you want to peek!
Posted by Sale and Jaimee